Riots in the streets = Miday Treat

So was going about my daily, boring routine. Yoga in the morning, watch Grey's Anatomy, shower & dress. When all of a sudden Apoorva walks in (and scares the hell out of me because I was half naked and I thought it was some stranger, since he should have been at work). Turns out some guy that is head of the Indian mafia was arrested today, and everyone was rioting in the streets. And of course it wasn't some peaceful demonstration. By the pictures on the news there was plently of rock throwing and police brutality, along with some attacks on some innocent bi standards just trying to get home in their cars or taxis. Nice right? So apparently everyone in Bombay got to go home for the day. I guess a "Riot Day" is equivalent to the "Snow Day" of the northeast.

It's really lucky that I was blissfully unaware of what was going on until Apoorva came home and told me. I would have bee freaking out about him getting home. He said he didn't encounter any riots, but at some points on the highway there were lots of stones on the road where the police and the rioters had been already. I spent a few minutes calling up some of my expat friends to make sure they were home and safe. Everyone was home and bunkered down for the day.

Gotta love India and it's crazy people. What's so funny is that people are taking the day off from work because they want the excuse, not because this shocks or scares them, which makes me think it's a regular occurrence. Laws really mean nothing here. Their existence, along with the police, def. don't make me feel safe. Just the other day Apoorva read in the newspaper that a mob of coworkers beat their boss to death for making them work late. This mafia guy was arrested because he was breaking several laws (including stoning people and vandalism) in protest that another law (which he apparently liked better than the ones he was breaking) was not being followed or enforced. How nuts is that? They say that police cannot survive off the wages they are given so most of their income comes from bribes. They will turn their heads and ignore any offense as long as you give them 100 Rs., including serious traffic accidents, public urination, and I'm sure other more serious offenses.

Oh well... at least Apoorva got to come home early and we got to eat lunch together and hang out this afternoon. A nice treat for me because normally I would just be on my own, alone and bored.

Yesterday was fun. Went to a book store to pick up "Holy Cow", which is apparently a very funny book written by an expat who lived in New Delhi. Then I went over to Caryl's house for lunch. While there I helped her get into a Saree for the first time. Her husband's boss was making her attend a work party and of course assumed she would want to dress like an Indian woman so bought her this saree. I felt bad for poor Caryl, she really did seem miserable in that thing. Of course I understand, since whenever I have to wear one I'm miserable as well.

Well I'm off to enjoy a bit of reading until I have to make dinner... Oh yea, one more thing...

My Yoga instructor will not stop pointing out the fact that I'm a little fat (do people think that I'm unaware that I'm overweight?). She actually gave me a diet to follow which no nutritionist in the world would recommends. Two meals a day consisting of fruits and vegetables, no carbohydrates and no protein. Yea right! I find that Indians have no qualms about pointing out any extra weight you may be carrying. At first it kinda pissed me off, now I just blow it off. It actually may be helping my self esteem because I find myself thinking "I'm not that fat", "I'm ok the way I am". So instead of bashing myself I'm actually defending my body. Eh, it's annoying, but as long as it's not damaging my self esteem I'll just deal with it

Weekend Travels

Both Apoorva and I were feeling better this weekend so we decided to take a small trip to Aurangabad, which is a small city about 400kms east of Mumbai. It's name means "Built by the Throne", named after Mughal Emperor Aurangzeb who founded the city. It's just as hot as Mumbai, but because of the open spaces there was a nice breeze. The landscape actually was really beautiful and reminded me of the Southwest back in the US. Here is a picture of Apoorva and I at one of the more scenic places off the highway (photo courtesy of our "rented" driver).

The city is famous for the many historical sites that surround it, including the Ellora and Ajanta caves. These ancient "caves" are temples (Buddhist, Hindu, and Jain) carved into cliffs. The first day we went to the Ellora caves. There are about 30 caves total, devoted to all three religions. You can see in the picture below that they really are just carved out of the cliff face.
The largest one was completely open on top. It was a three story temple carved from the top down. It was huge and amazing. There were thousands of carvings of Hindu gods and stories.

After that we stopped at a roadside fruit stand that was selling a local fruit called sitaphal. It really is the weirdest fruit I have every seen. Here is a picture of the outside.

It's so soft you can just rip it in half. Inside are all these mushy pods with big, black seeds in them. You pull the pods our and each the soft flesh and spit out the seeds. They are quite tasty, just really messy to eat. Very slimy.



We then went to see the mini-Taj Mahal. It was the tomb that the city's founder built for his wife. Pretty cool, since I have been unable to get to Agra to see that actual Taj.

The next day we traveled about 100kms to see the Ajanta "caves" . They were pretty similar to the Ellora caves, except these ones had paintings on the inside that were preserved from the elements, so they were still quite clear and bright. Didn't really get any good pictures, because we were not allowed to use flash. Here is a view of the outside of the caves. As you can see there were a lot of stairs. You had the option of hiring 4 men to carry you around on a "litter". Of course I did not hire them but we did pay them a few Rs each to just have them pick me up for a photo-op.


Favorite picture of the weekend: I finally got to see MONKEYS!!! I saw them at both caves. This one was taken at the Ajanta caves. They were all over the place, but this mommy and her baby were the cutest and were sitting so close to walkway.Funny Story of the weekend: On the way out of the Ajanta caves we stopped at the various stores that were selling handicrafts. We purchased a few items from this one guy. He noticed I was interested in one particular piece, but I decided to get something else. For some reason he thought I didn't want it because of the price. After we had purchased our stuff he followed us out of the store trying to get us to buy that particular piece for a lower price. Apoorva explained to him that we were not going to buy it, so he left. A minute later, as we were getting in our car, the guy showed up again with an even lower price. He ran after the car shouting lower and lower prices. I guess Apoorva is a good bargainer, even when he's not trying :-)

Medical Misfortunes

This week has been filled with trips to doctors' offices and hospitals, for both me and my husband. That being said, even though the US health care system has many faults (such as being really expensive) I will appriciate it a lot more now that I've seen some of India's health care system.

So first off I've been having "women's problems" for about a week. I'm not going to go into too much detail, all I'll say is that I wanted to go see an OBGYN. So we started to search for one in Mumbai that I would be comfortable going to. Apoorva asked his cousin, who is in the health care field, and she provided us with a list of doctors, one of which is some distant relation. So we called this 2nd cousin once removed and she had an opening the next morning.

I'm not exactly sure how it works here, but it seems as if many doctors practice right out of hospitals, and during part of the day will hold outpatient office hours right in the hospital. So that is where we went for my appointment. The hospital itself, while considered to be one of the better ones in the city, was dirty and run down. I would have never guessed it was a hospital unless someone told me (or if it had not been for the nurses who were dressed in a somewhat more conservative version of the old-fashioned white nurses uniform). But I guess some would argue that US hospitals and Dr.'s offices are unnaturally sterile, so I could forgive a little dirt and grime. What really skeived me out though was that table dressings were not changed in between patients, and many times the door was not closed (and this is an OBGYN we're talking about... not a podiatrist)

But what really bothers me is how patient care itself is delivered. No matter what the setting you would expect care to be delivered in much the same way. But there are glaring differences between the US and India in this department. First of all, you don't see a nurse, no patient history is taken, you are not asked what medications you are on, in some cases your weight is not checked, or blood pressure. The doctor spends about 2 or 3 minutes with you asking about your specific ailment and then gives you a diagnosis and sends you on your way with about 10 different prescriptions (none of which are checked against any medicines you are currently taking, and the pharmacy doesn't do this either). And what really shocked and surprised me is that no medical records are kept. If you want to keep a record of your medical history you have to do it yourself. And even if you did a doctor probably wouldn't look at it before examining and diagnosing you.

Don't get me wrong, the doctors themselves are nice and professional and do everything they can to figure out what's wrong with you and what they can do to help (in a timely fashion considering the patient load is probably 3 or 4 times what a doctor in the US would have). The OBGYN I saw was concerned about some pain I was having, so ordered an immediate ultrasound and was there while I was having it done (which is unheard of in the US). And doctors still do house calls here, and will give out their cellphone numbers. And of course they are just as educated as doctors in the US. It's just that the system is all messed up. I don't want to even think of how many people have reactions because of problems with medications. The fact is that here, you have to be on top of your own health care.

I of course am not basing my opinion on one doctors visit. The same can be said for Apoorva's visit to the clinic today with some sort of viral infection. I've also been to the doctors twice before now (once for a wrist injury and once for a sinus infection) and had one doctor make a house call when I had food poisoning. Yes, it is cheap and easy to get health care here, but there is just something about it that leaves me a little worried that the doctor couldn't have gotten all the information, or than one of the prescribed medicines will interact with something else I'm taking. I definitely feel like I have to be more aware about my own health care while I'm here, because no one else is!

Clothing

Today, with the new driver, I was able to go to the post office and to the nice mall across town. It's funny that even this can be an adventure at times.

Getting to the post office was interesting. We live in the northern suburb of Mumbai called Goregon. It's pretty far away from the center of town, so it's not considered to be one of the good suburbs, especially if you are an expat. So even going to the post office can be interesting. It turned out to be in the middle of one of the "slums". Basically you have to go down these narrow roads that have make-shift buildings on either side. These buildings are more like shacks with three walls, the open side facing the street. They are a combination of homes and small "shops". Perhaps a barber with a single folding chair and a bucket for water, or a guy who sharpens knives using the gears of a bicycle.

In one of the only "real" building in the area is the post office. There is apparently a sign indicating that it's the post office, but it's in Hindi. No English in sight. So my driver tells me which building is the post office, and I gather up all the confidence I have and maneuver my way across the street and into the building. I am met with only a staircase and four walls. No where to go but up, so that's what I do. The stairwell is dirty and cluttered with litter and construction material. If this were in the US the building would probably be condemned. But I continue on up. On the 3rd floor I finally see the post office. It's basically one room that has been divided into two by a counter and glass, with about 10 different windows. I make it to the window where you can buy stamps and as the lady for 15 stamps needed to mail a post card. She gives me the "I have no idea what you're talking about look" and realize she speaks no English. So I give her one of the post cards and manage to indicate that I need to send 15 of them. It seems that it's been awhile since they mailed anything to the US, because it took them about 4 or 5 minutes to find out how much postage should go on each of the postcards. And in the end I'm not very confident, since the book they were looking in looked to be about 50 years old.

Once I have the stamps I need I look around for an empty counter or space where I can affix the stamps to the cards (they are the old fashioned kind, that you have to cut apart and then lick). No dice. I also decide this is not a place where I want to lick anything anyway, so I take my stamps and leave and head to the mall.

Ah, modernity. Malls in this country and just like malls in the US. Clean, air conditioned, and full of consumerism. Sometimes I spend hours just wandering around the malls of Mumbai (and there are many of them to choose from) savoring the Western feel of it all. Of course there are many differences. First of all, since labor is so cheap here, there many, many, many more sales associates in each store. And they follow you around trying to help you. Here that's considered the norm and it would be rude of them to leave you to your own devices. As an American I would prefer not to have someone following me around the store. But oh well... And I can't blend into the crowd like I can in the malls in the US. With my white skin and blond hair I stand out and people stare. But oh well, I deal.

Anyway, today I went to the mall to get shirts. The weather is such here that wearing stuff from my US wardrobe is unbearable. The stuff that looks nice and is presentable to go in public is too warm and I end up drenched in sweat the moment I step outside my bedroom (the only room in our apartment with AC). The stuff that is comfortable (namely cotton t-shirts) are stuff I don't want to wear in public because they look drab and frumpy. Frumpy because when you wear cotton it stretches and with no dryers here they do not shrink back to their original size (including jeans... so freakin annoying). Drab because everyone wears bright colors and most clothing tends to be somewhat dressy (like button downs shirts, slacks, etc...). Even though the clothing looks like they've been washed in mud, they are considered nicer than clean t-shirts and jeans.

So anyway, I've found these types of shirts that I really like. They are light weight but they look nice. And they have 3/4 sleeves which is nice because I hate short sleeves. I was very successful this afternoon and was able to get 4 new shirts for about $30. Who knows if I would wear them back in the states, but at these prices I'm willing to buy a bunch of them even though I know I will only wear them for 3 months. Sorry no pictures for now because my internet is being slow...

I also got lucky in the shoe department. I forgot my everyday flip-flops back in the US so I was stuck with my sketchers. And while they are comfortable, they are hot as hell. So I went and bought two pairs of sandals for around $25 total.

All in all a pretty successful day :-)

"Bean Town"

The word Bangalore basically means town of boiled beans. So the entire time I was there I was affectionately calling it the "bean town" of India. And it actually reminded me a little bit of Boston, in the sense that relative to the larger cities in India, Bangalore is smaller and more open and less crowded. I really liked the city because unlike Mumbai there are many trees and gardens scattered around the city. Unfortunately the traffic was just as bad because while there are less people, there also exists a lack of public transportation, so everyone uses the roads. At least in Mumbai there are trains and buses so there are relatively less cars on the road.

We stayed in the city itself Thursday and Friday night. Thursday night we went into the center of town and wandered around looking in all of the small shops. I loved all of the handicraft items, especially all of the carvings made out of sandalwood, which is apparently something that area of the country is known for. I managed to avoid purchasing anything. My reasoning is that I'm going to have limited space in my suitcase when I bring stuff back, so I actually want to think about what I want to purchase and bring back to the US. Smart, I know :-)

The next evening Apoorva and I went out to dinner with his uncle, aunt and cousin. It was a nice evening. This branch of his family tree was surprisingly laid back and fun. His uncle insisted that I have two drinks, and alcohol always makes things more enjoyable. We ended up going to an Italian restaurant and the food was actually decent, which made me happy.

The next morning Apoorva and I traveled outside the city to visit some ancient temples. They were about four hours away near a town called Hassan. We rented a car, and in India, when you rent a car it comes with a driver. The drive out to the country was crazy. The "highway" was one lane on each side and paved. All sorts of vehicals, pedestrians, and animals use this highway. So if our car got stuck behind something that was going slower than our driver wanted to go, he would pass it. Not a big deal. But what was crazy was the chances drivers were taking while doing so. Quite frequently I would see a huge truck or bus coming straight for us and we narrowly made it into our lane. And a few times we were driven off the road by someone coming in the other direction trying to pass the vehicle ahead of them. Needless to say I spent most of the time listening to my iPod with my head down and my eyes closed, praying...

The first place we went to was a Jain temple that was located (of course) on top of the highest hill in the area. We had to hike up over 700 stairs to reach the top.
On top of the hill in the middle of the temple is a 57 foot tall monolith of one of their gods. It was very interesting and the view was amazing.

We visited two other Hindu temples that same day. These ones were on a smaller scale, but they were amazing because they were COVERED in carvings depicting all the great stories in Hindu mythology. These places were over 1000 years old, yet everything is so well preserved. At each of the three places we hired a guide for 100 Rupees (around $2.50) and they all spent at least 45 minutes taking us around and explaining the history behind some of the more famous carvings and the general history of the temple. The second temple we went to is actually till used for worship so we got to see some of the rituals they practice at that temple. The whole day was so interesting, beautiful, and spiritually inspiring.

The city of Hassan itself is so small I wouldn't really consider it a city. More like a town, so that in itself was interesting. To get there we had to pass through the countryside and even smaller towns, which up until that point I had yet to see in India. Many times we had to share the road with cattle or groups of women carrying pots of water on their head. The hotel we staid at was nice. Reminded me of a Holiday Inn. Everything was clean, however the internet didn't work. We did manage to find an internet cafe and a international calling station so I could call my parents and we could check into our flight for the next day.

All in all it was a great weekend and it was nice to get away from Mumbai. The whole time I felt relaxed, partly because while I know it sounds crazy, that area of India reminded me of home. Probably because of all the green :-) I miss green!

Favorite picture of the weekend: Self-picture of Apoorva and I in front of one of the temples.

Traveling to Bangalore

Yesterday Apoorva and I traveled to Bangalore, which is a city in the south. Apoorva had some business here and we decided to plan a few sight seeing trips around it. It's been fun so far. It's kinda sad because most of the time I've been in the hotel room, but it's better than sitting in our apartment. And they have a better internet connection.

Two funny stories so far:

First of all the domestic airport in Mumbai is pretty standard. But what is weird is that there are really no gates in the different terminals. You walk through security for a particular terminal, depending on your airline and you are in a giant room with chairs and the usual coffee places and news stands. At the back there is the only exit to the runway. When your flight is called you exit through the doors and get on a bus and they take you to your plane. What was so ridiculous was the plane was about 15 feet from the door. It took longer to get on the bus than it would have taken to walk to the plane. It was ridiculous!!

The flight itself was nice. They served a full breakfast even though it was only an hour long. Sometimes in the US you don't even get water. So that was an unexpected but nice surprise.

The hotel we are staying in is ok. It reminds me of a Holiday Inn, nice, but not THAT nice. They give us our room key and the bellman brings us up there with our bags. He opens the door, and then slams it almost in our face. He turns to us with this surprised look on his face and says "someone's in there!". And then looks at us like it's our fault. They had given us the wrong room, and whatever, that happens, but the bellman's reaction was so funny. Almost like he was expecting us to do something about it. Funny.

OK, well I'm basically hanging out in the room today until Apoorva gets back from his meeting. Could be like 3 or 4 hours. Ugh! But I'll be downloading episodes of America's Next Top Model and Project Runway to keep myself occupied. Fun!

Back to India

So I have not written in about a month because I have not been in India. Around the 22nd of August we got a phone call from my dad telling us that my step-mother was not well. They found a tumor in her brain and it was blocking some major blood vessels, causing fluid to build up, putting a lot of pressure on her brain and skull. They were unsure she was going to live long enough to drain the fluid. So of course Apoorva and I booked the next flights we could back to the US.

The next 24 hours were hell. It's not easy to book international flights at the last minute, especially on the weekends. It did not help that our internet connection is sporadic at best and cut out twice in the middle of booking tickets. We were able to get two on a flight leaving the next night. I was in a panic the entire time and did not calm down until we were on the plane. It really felt like I had lost all control over my life. Like I was stuck and could not get back to my family when they needed me the most. I was so worried that I would not make it in time and Laurie would not be there by the time I got to the hospital.

But she was! They were able to drain the fluid, and while she was a little out of it because of the drugs, at least she was still with us and out of danger. Of course we were still trying to deal with the news that she has brain cancer, but at least she was feeling better.

Apoorva stayed with me in the US for about a week. But he had to go back because he had to get back to work. They were nice enough to give him the week off without giving him any grief. I stayed for another two weeks, long enough to get Laurie home and to see how she was responding to treatment. I didn't leave until things had gotten back to normal and we knew she wasn't going to get sick from the chemo.

Coming back to India was hard. I was really missing Apoorva, but the stress of those three weeks had left me with a lot of anxiety. I was having panic attacks, and the thought of dealing with everything that comes with living in India made me even more anxious. But I could not leave my husband here alone, so I of course I came back.

In some ways coming back was harder then than when we first got here. Our internet was down and our driver had quit. These happen to be the two most important things in terms of keeping my sanity intact by keeping me connected to the world outside our apartment. I say it was worse than when we had first come to India because we had already spent so much time setting these things up, that to lose them and start all over again was disheartening. I spent three or four days straight in the apartment without internet. Thank God I had jetlagg so I was sleeping most of the time.

But we now have internet (obviously) and a driver. So things should get back to normal around here... as much as living in India can be normal.

What A Weekend

I have not written since the middle of last week, and of course so much has happened since then I don’t even know where to begin. I guess I’ll just go day by day.

Thursday:

This day was so weird. It started off with our driver being really late to pick me up. I don’t know if I’ve mentioned it before, but it’s almost impossible for me to drive here, and Apoorva doesn’t even want to try. So we hired a driver, Vicky. I guess he wasn’t feeling very well that day, so on his way back from dropping off Apoorva at the office he stopped to get some medicine. However this meant he was an hour late picking me up, and therefore an hour late meeting up with my friend Caryl. Talk about mixed feelings. I was concerned about Vicky because he was not feeling well, and I didn’t want him to have to work while sick. But on the other hand I was upset I was late. Not at him of course, just the situation. It’s been a really long time since I’ve had to rely on anyone to get from place to place. It’s the sense of loss of control that I hate and pisses me off in these situations. I miss my car ☹

We finally got on our way after I tried to convince him to take the day off, but he refused. An hour later (takes an hour to go 5 miles because of the traffic) he drops me off at the Hyatt where Caryl is staying, and we get in her car to go to Bandra (another suburb of Mumbai about ½ hour further south). Vicky was going to go back to the office to wait for Apoorva to get done with work. But then the poor guy hits a motorcycle pulling out of the Hyatt. Fortunately no one was hurt, and he just paid the traffic cop 100 rupees and everything was fine (about $2.50). Interesting I know, but I guess that’s how they deal with those types of things over here.

So finally Caryl and I are on our way. We meet up with another expat for lunch and then a hot oil head massage at a local beauty salon. I guess many India women massage coconut oil into their hair about once a week so that it’s soft and straight. So we thought we would try it out. Well it was about the weirdest thing I’ve experienced so far, I don’t know if I’ll be able to accurately describe it here. So the first part was fine. The guy just massaged olive oil (better for my type of hair I guess) into my scalp and hair. Then he started to massage my head and neck. It was a little too rough for my taste, but still ok. Then he starts massaging my face, and then my ears, like inside my ears. Eeeeww!!! Then he gets out this machine he wears like a glove that vibrates violently and then proceeds to do everything again, except my his hand is vibrating because of the glove. This includes the face massage (I thought my teeth were going to fall out) and ears (I probably lost some brain cells… I’m not using them anyway).

So then once I’m done with the freaky massage, the guy washes out my hair and then blows it out. The stylists who are doing my two friends (who both have black or dark brown hair) do a quick job of it leaving them with damp, unstyled hair. Mine however takes his sweet time. Halfway through three or four other stylists line up behind him and watch him style my hair. They are transfixed. I will say that my hair has not looked that good since stepping off the plane. However ten minutes after I stepped out of the salon it poofs up again because of the humidity. I miss my straight hair ☹

So that was my Thursday. Oh, I almost forgot. My wildlife sighting for the day was three monkeys!!! Two adults and a baby. They were being led on a leash by a woman who would get them to do tricks if you gave her some money.

Friday:

Friday was Independence Day for India so Apoorva had the day off. We took the opportunity to do some sight seeing in downtown Mumbai. We saw of few of the major tourist attractions (Gateway of India, Hanging Gardens) and at lunch at the Taj Hotel, one of the better high end hotels in the area. The restaurant served Mediterranean food and it was so yummy. Since it was a 5 star hotel I could actually eat come chicken and it was delicious!!

Saturday:

Saturday was another holiday, Raksha bandhan, which is a Hindu festival celebrating the relationship between brothers and sisters. During the day women and girls tie a Rakhi (a beefed up friendship bracelet) to their brothers and male cousins. I think it’s supposed to be a sign of loyalty and affection. The elder brother in return offers a gift to his sister and vows to look after her and protect her for the rest of her life. As Apporva's wife, his sisters (and cousins) tie a loomba (same thing as a Rakhi except it dangles) to my bangles, since I am now a part of him.

So we spent the whole day with Apoorva’s family meeting various relatives, doing these little ceremonies, and eating a lot of food. It was a fun holiday and I really like the symbolism behind it.

Sunday:

We went to one of the larger malls on the other side of town to do some grocery shopping and to look for some more furniture (we really need a TV stand and a desk). The mall was really great, much better than the one across the road from our apartment. It basically has everything you need right in one place and the food court is amazing. I think I’ll be able to get there on my own in an auto rickshaw (a little three wheeled taxi). I hate riding in those things but it would be worth it to go to that place.

First Impressions

So here we are in India! We flew out of Hartford, CN on Monday evening. Everything went smoothly with the flight. It was about 7 hours to Amsterdam, where we had a three hour layover. Didn’t have the time to go outside at all, but we did enjoy a very tasty breakfast, including some chocolate milk, which tasted exactly like the stuff in the US, but at least it has dutch writing on it.

Our flight from Amsterdam to Mumbai was about 8 hours long, and was just as uneventful as the first (which I consider a very good thing when flying).

We arrived at the Mumbai airport around 11:00 pm local time (1:30 pm EST). What I first noticed when entering the terminal was the heat and the smell. Even though it was late it was still very hot, and the humidity made it feel as if you were covered with a warm wet blanket. They do not have central air in the airport, but every once in awhile we would pass a standing air conditioned and you would get a blast of cold air. But these machines were few and far between. On the whole the heat and humidity was very oppressive. It probably did not help that we were getting off a plane, which tends to be somewhat chilly.

The smell was not necessarily bad, it was just different. It smelled exactly like the Asian food stores at home. At first it was strange, and it took some getting used to, but now, a few days later, I do not notice it at all (I can’t say the same thing for the heat... unfortunately).

Apoorva’s parents were waiting for us when we left customs. It had been raining (as it does frequently during the monsoon season) so the ground was very wet and muddy. We took two cars to his parents place (they anticipated all of our bags), where we unloaded all of our stuff and a few of Apoorva's family members welcomed us in a small ceremony. Fortunately the ceremony was also short, because we were about ready to pass out after 24 hours of traveling.

Since then Apoorva has started his job with Johnson & Johnson, but I've been mostly getting over my jet lag and trying to get used to this new country and the people in it.

Bye Bye Happy Valley!!!

So we are off to India tomorrow evening. We are flying on Northwest to Amsterdam (8 hours) for a 3 hour layover, then on to Mumbai, India (9 hours). We arrive at 10:00 pm local time (about noon in NY/MA). We’ll be staying with Apoorva’s parents for the first week so we can get our apartment together and he can start his first week of work. His parents have already got the basics for us (couch, table, bed), but I get to do the fun stuff and decorate the place. Yay!

For the past week or so we have been getting ready. We have had to make some tough decisions when it comes to our stuff. We had three choices: pack, store (we have a storage unit here in MA), or get rid of it. We are very limited in the stuff we can take to India. We each get two bags 50lbs bags. While that sounds like a lot, things add up really quickly.

I’ve basically got my clothes, toiletries, shoes, and some books. I also read somewhere that when you move to another country, it can sometimes help if you bring a few things (blankets, decorations, etc) that remind you of home, so I have a few of those

My parents and grandparents came up this weekend to say goodbye. We walked around Northampton, went up to Mount Sugarloaf to take in the view, and then spent the night eating BBQ and bowling in Springfield. This morning we to IHop for breakfast (I had the banana walnut pancakes, yummy). Then we all (well, all us women) balled our eyes out in the parking lot while saying goodbye. I’m so happy they all came up to say goodbye.

The rest of the day Apoorva and I made sure we had everything we needed in our bags, cleaned out our apartment and then said goodbye to Northampton & Amherst. We’re staying in the Holiday Inn in Springfield for the night so we get a good nights sleep before we get on the plane.

Here’s my favorite picture of the weekend. We took my parents & grandparents to a local all natural food restaurant, Paul & Elizabeth’s. Good food and even better company. I will miss them both!! :-)

Done Waiting!

Yesterday we went to the Boston office of the USCIS to check the status of our case. We found out that Apoorva’s name has not even been cleared by the FBI yet (has to make sure he’s not a terrorist or anything of course!) and even if it was they are all booked through August with interviews. So it’s more than likely we wont even be scheduled till the end of the summer and our interview will not be until September (at least that’s what it looks like, it’s impossible to get a straight answer from them).

Since Johnson & Johnson will not wait that long for Apoorva to come to India, and our lawyer says at this point it’s easier to get the interview delayed than get it scheduled sooner, we have decided to just go to India, and then come back for the interview. Apoorva already has papers that will let him travel outside the country and then come back in (theoretically... knock on wood). So we will just suck it up and fly back here in a few months.

Now we are busy packing, selling, and storing the remainder of our possessions. My parents and grandparents will be coming out next weekend. And then we leave on the 13th!

Playing the Waiting Game...

So, as I’ve mentioned before, Apoorva is from India, and is still an Indian citizen. Since he married me he is eligible for a Green Card, which is basically permission from the US government to live and work in the US. Long story short, because of legalities and logistics, we decided to try to get the Green Card before leaving for India. The problem is that it is taking longer than we had originally thought.

All of the documentation has been in for awhile. We are working with a lawyer, so things are going as smoothly as possible, but working with the government to get anything done always has the possibility to be slow and frustrating. The lawyer had all but promised that we would have the papers we needed by now, but apparently the US Citizen and Immigration Services office slows down considerably in the summer. This has caused Apoorva to ask for a delay in his start date at Johnson & Johnson. While they have allowed a 1 month extension until August 1st, we are not sure they will give him another one if becomes necessary.

Delaying our trip isn’t the frustrating part. It’s actually helpful because we have more time to pack and sell off all the stuff we don’t want to put into storage. It’s the complete and utter uncertainty that’s getting to me. At this point it’s possible that we may not even go at all. Then where will we be? Neither of us had anticipated this, especially considering our lawyer’s optimistic attitude, and therefore have not been looking for jobs in the US. Our lease ends in July, so where we would go after that is uncertain. We have enough savings to cover living expenses for quite awhile, maybe even a year, but we had hoped to spend that on paying off student loans or as a down payment on a house. Not food and shelter...

We really have no idea how to proceed. It is impossible to tell if we will actually get our paperwork in time. I cannot figure out if we should assume that we will and continue to pack and prepare for our trip, or if we should assume the worst and start looking for jobs in the US. Either option has its problems, so I’m left paralyzed by this decision and end up doing nothing at all. Add the feeling of being unproductive to uncertainty and you get a very depressing combination.

We are traveling to Boston tomorrow to speak to someone in the USCIS office, hoping that they will be able to give us some indication as to when, if at all, we will be able to leave. However at this point I will not let myself be too optimistic. Even so I cannot help getting my hopes up whenever I check the mail, only to have my heart fall into the pit of my stomach again as I realize that yet again, there is no news. Whoever said no news is good news is full of shit. I’ll take any news over this waiting game!

Saying Goodbye to People, Places, & Pets

This past weekend Apoorva and I traveled to Central NY to say goodbye to my family. This was also the trip where we dropped off my two cats, Widget & Fidget, at their temporary home. We packed them up in their crate and drove 5 & 1/2 hours to Ithaca, NY. For the first hour of our journey they meowed, but after that they seemed to have accepted their fate and settled down, only demanding attention once in awhile. We got to the pet sitter’s house, a nice young woman named Diana, and the cats promptly ran and hid behind the nearest piece of furniture. I of course bawled like a baby. Didn’t actually get to say goodbye really, since they refused to come out of hiding. However that was to be expected and I had given them big hugs before putting them in their crate at home.
After that we traveled to Cortland to have dinner with my long time family friend, Darlene, and her daughter Bethany. We exchanged pictures from the wedding and ate at a favorite childhood restaurant. While I understood that I would not be seeing them again for another 6 or 7 months, I was not able to really grasp that bit of information, so the goodbye felt like all the others before it, when I knew I would be seeing them in a few weeks.

This was the first goodbye of the weekend and the way I handled it and the way it affected me was truly shocking. I expected for it to be more emotional, more meaningful in a way. And yet I was as calm as can be. On the drive up to my parents’ house I tried to figure out why that was. Did I just not care? Am I heartless? Do I have messed up priorities since I cried like a toddler when I had to give up my cats but when saying goodbye to friends I have no emotional response whatsoever?

I don’t think any of the above applies to me. I think I just have not let the fact that I am leaving for more than half a year sink in yet. Giving up my cats was an immediate event, and therefore I had an immediate reaction. I dropped them off and they did not come home with me, and I knew it and could digest that and therefore I responded by being sad. However we don’t even know what date we are flying out yet. Leaving for India seems far into the future, and not yet real. I have a hard time having an emotional reaction to something that seems so surreal and impossible.

We spent Friday & Saturday night at my parents place. It was nice spending some quality time with them. The last time we were there was the week of our wedding, and there were other people visiting so we were unable to have some one-on-one time. In family tradition, the India trip was not discussed much and no heart-felt conversations took place, but it was nice just the same. Apoorva and I set up Skype and a new webcam on dad’s computer, so while we are in India we can communicate for free, and see each other too! It’s a pretty cool program, and it has worked really well so far.

Sunday we spent the day at my grandparent’s house with the rest of my family having our traditional Sunday dinner. That afternoon, as people began to leave, a few of my aunts broke down and started to cry, as well as Laurie, my step-mother. I again I had that same non-emotional reaction. This time I actually felt guilty. How can everyone react the fact that I’m leaving, but I cannot? I must be emotionally disfigured or something.

It was not until we left central NY Monday morning that I started to feel the least bit emotional. I have yet to cry or anything, but I did start to feel a sense of loss. However it left me feeling even worse about the situation, the fact that I had more of a reaction leaving my pets and familiar places rather than saying goodbye to the people I love the most. I expect that I will not be able to avoid these emotions much longer, and the sense of loss will soon catch up with me.