Back to India

So I have not written in about a month because I have not been in India. Around the 22nd of August we got a phone call from my dad telling us that my step-mother was not well. They found a tumor in her brain and it was blocking some major blood vessels, causing fluid to build up, putting a lot of pressure on her brain and skull. They were unsure she was going to live long enough to drain the fluid. So of course Apoorva and I booked the next flights we could back to the US.

The next 24 hours were hell. It's not easy to book international flights at the last minute, especially on the weekends. It did not help that our internet connection is sporadic at best and cut out twice in the middle of booking tickets. We were able to get two on a flight leaving the next night. I was in a panic the entire time and did not calm down until we were on the plane. It really felt like I had lost all control over my life. Like I was stuck and could not get back to my family when they needed me the most. I was so worried that I would not make it in time and Laurie would not be there by the time I got to the hospital.

But she was! They were able to drain the fluid, and while she was a little out of it because of the drugs, at least she was still with us and out of danger. Of course we were still trying to deal with the news that she has brain cancer, but at least she was feeling better.

Apoorva stayed with me in the US for about a week. But he had to go back because he had to get back to work. They were nice enough to give him the week off without giving him any grief. I stayed for another two weeks, long enough to get Laurie home and to see how she was responding to treatment. I didn't leave until things had gotten back to normal and we knew she wasn't going to get sick from the chemo.

Coming back to India was hard. I was really missing Apoorva, but the stress of those three weeks had left me with a lot of anxiety. I was having panic attacks, and the thought of dealing with everything that comes with living in India made me even more anxious. But I could not leave my husband here alone, so I of course I came back.

In some ways coming back was harder then than when we first got here. Our internet was down and our driver had quit. These happen to be the two most important things in terms of keeping my sanity intact by keeping me connected to the world outside our apartment. I say it was worse than when we had first come to India because we had already spent so much time setting these things up, that to lose them and start all over again was disheartening. I spent three or four days straight in the apartment without internet. Thank God I had jetlagg so I was sleeping most of the time.

But we now have internet (obviously) and a driver. So things should get back to normal around here... as much as living in India can be normal.